So I did pass on a few good things to my boys!!

I am a mother of two grown boys, one is 25 and the other is 23.  I love being a mom of boys and they have taught me so much over the years.  The first thing is their capacity for love in their own special way.  The second thing I learned from boys is the appreciation for dirt—but that is a whole other blog!!

My oldest son was not a cuddly baby, much to my chagrin; he would let me hold him long enough to nurse and then he was outta there.  However, he loved me by needing to play around me and watching everything I did, and I do mean everything.  He is not a big hugger but he indulges me when I need a hug from him—you see he is big, 6’5” tall and he envelops you with giant hugs (when he has to).  His wife is tiny and I absolutely love to see him give her one of his great big hugs, she almost disappears in his arms.  Like me you always know what he is feeling, he lets it out and then it is over. 

When he was little, he would hang out in the kitchen with me and just watch, I was too much of a freak in my kitchen as far as messes go so I rarely let him help.  I wish I could go back and change that part of me. I would love to go back and let him help me more and watch his creativity in action. He loves to cook and bake now, he makes homemade piecrust, scratch cinnamon rolls, and bread and pizza crust to die for.  He learns the proper techniques and has the patience to do things right. He is a better cook than I and I am proud to say that.  I am constantly buying cookbooks for him.  His wife appreciates it too! He uses cooking as an outlet from the everyday life of working and providing for his family.

My younger son was my cuddle bug and boy did I take advantage of that. I made up for the older one by snuggling with the younger one all the time.  Even when he was in high school, he would sit in our double chair with me and watch TV. He never fails to come give me a hug and kiss when he leaves the house, I love this.  He lives in Nashville now so those hugs and kisses are fewer and farther between but I soak them up when he is home.  Like his father he is a thinker and planner.  When he was little he could play contently by himself but hardly ever had to, he had an older brother and his friends.  He learned to read when he was 4 years-old.  He learned by sitting and listening to his big brother do his practice reading for school.  I remember having to find alternative punishments other than going to his room, he preferred this because he could sit in there for hours and read. I had to make him go outside and play!  He always loved to take things apart to see how they worked. At times, this was frustrating because he didn’t always put them back together.  He too loves to cook, but I think he appreciates the eating part more than the fixing part.  When he was in college a group of kids got together on Tuesday evenings and made a pie, for him it was more the socializing and having fun with friends than it was the art of making the pie. 

He is an excellent student and at times an over-achiever but it has served him well. He is a college graduate and is currently seeking out grad school options.  His feelings run very deep and he is very honest about everything.  He hurts deeply at times and struggles to get over these hurts.  He currently is working for a non-profit and is roasting coffee for this same agency. He does his job well, I dare say better than most, but he knows it is not what he is supposed to do forever.  That’s where grad school comes in, he wants to do psychological research and that is a perfect fit for him.  He loves to see how things work—even people.

When you are a young mom you never think of the impact you are having on your children, you are too busy making sure they survive the day.  Nevertheless, as they get older you start to see some of you in who they are becoming, good and bad.  There are things I would change if I had to go back and do it all again, but then would they turn out the same if I did it differently?? I may have spoiled them a bit too much at times, but I don’t think anyone was permanently damaged by it.  There were some tough times, times I didn’t think we would survive, but we came out on the other side and were strengthened by the trial.  I don’t wish hard times on any parent but they will happen and you have to choose how you are going to react. But hang in there because one day your little boy will be all grown up and have a little boy of his own.

“You can be anything you want to be”

Well this is not exactly true…

I really would love to have been a concert pianist but I only took piano lessons for about a month and quit, we didn’t own a piano so it was difficult to practice.  And I didn’t know how to read music, still don’t and I don’t understand how you learn to read music.  I understand when the notes move up and down but that’s about it.  I love to sing and I think I have a pretty good singing voice. In high school, I was in the Acappella choir and I am pretty sure the teacher let me in because both of my sisters had been in before me.  I couldn’t read the music for the tryout.

I could never be an engineer, of any type.  Math just is not my thing.  I appreciate math for what it is good for but I don’t get it most of the time.  I mean I know how to add and subtract and I can figure a discount when I am shopping, but algebra…forget it. My husband, on the other hand, is a darn good engineer. God built him for it and he has supported this family for 27 years doing it.  My brain just is not analytical and never could be. 

A nurse, oh my goodness I don’t think so.  I love people but I have very little patience for sickness. If you are sick at my house, you better get over it quick.  I have enough patience to give you about one day of sympathy and then I’m done.  Nursing is probably the most wonderful profession for someone to go into but I just would not be a good one. I think I would be dubbed “Nurse Ratchet.”

Sales can’t do it.  I sold Tupperware for a while because I was assured that “it will sell itself.”  Not true, you need to be able to convince someone that the product you have is the best thing since sliced bread and they cannot live without it.  Really how much Tupperware does one household need?  My son is a great salesman, he has this smile that draws you in and he really can convince you that you need whatever product he is selling.  The only person he can’t sell to is his father, he refusesto be sold to.

I say all this not to be negative and not to rain on your parade if you have wild dreams of being the next, whatever.  I say all this because God has gifted each of us with certain talents and abilities. And we need to explore how best to use them.  Everything we do should honor and glorify the One who created us.  I was a housewife and stay-at-home mom for most of my adult life and now I am a student.  I loved being a mom but my kids are all grown up now so that job ran its course.  I love being a student and learning—I didn’t love being a student the first time I went to college—but God built me to be a student and I learned how to do it well. Soon I will receive my Master’s Degree in counseling and I hope one day to help people heal.  I know I said I have little patience for sickness but I feel that God has gifted my with listening skills and an awareness of how to help people through difficult passages. 

Don’t be afraid to explore your giftedness but also, don’t be afraid to admit that there are some things you just were not built to do.  How do you know what your giftedness is?  First of all, what do you love to do? Ask people around you what they think? Pray about it? Search your hobbies; can you make money doing it?  Talk to others who are doing something that interests you, you can find out what it takes and whether or not it is a possibility for you. 

Set you sites as high as you want and don’t be afraid to fail, it is through failure that we grow. Don’t let the failure get you down, get right back up and try something else. Most importantly though you have to try, try, try. 

"Money Can't Buy Happiness'

But shoes can:)! I love shoes and I have learned that shoes fit my moods. I don't know how many pairs of shoes I have and I don't plan on counting them.  I know that each pair means something to me and certain pairs will literally lift my spirits.

I can't tell you what my most favorite pair is, it changes regularly.  At one point in time it was my Birkenstocks--they are so comfortable and are like an old friend, always there when you need them.  I worked at a job that I was on my feet all day and they saved my back and my feet.  They are still the pair I turn to when my feet are tired or I am in a hurry, they slip right on and off.

I have a pair of Gurkee's rope sandals that my son Sam got me when he went to Hawaii. They are a little worn now, his trip was 7 years ago, but those sandals resulted in 2 more online purchases for Gurkee's sandals.  I love my Land's End flip flops too, I have 3 pair--one is red with black labs, one is green with flowers and the other are pink argyle.  See what I mean about moods!!

I have a pair of Bear Paw boots that keep my feet toasty during snow season.  I can't imagine wearing anything else when it is cold--my feet are constantly cold in the winter.  So if my feet are warm I am happy. I also have a pair of 4-inch heel Granny Boots--I like to wear those for dressy occasions and they make me feel really lady-like.  I can't walk around the Plaza in them but I can sit at Starbucks on the Plaza in them.

Chacos are a great choice for outdoor activities and anything when your feet might get wet--you can't wear the rope sandals win wet situations.  The Chacos can be adjusted to be tighter or looser on your foot.  Keens will do you well when you are hiking or getting wet feet, they are better at protecting the toes than the Chacos.  It is generally a toss up between the Chacos and the Keens, it all depends upon the color scheme of the day.

Currently I am stuck on my Keen leather Mary Jane's. They are black with flowers stitched on them.  I can wear them with or without socks so they are versatile and multi-seasonal.  They work well with a skirt, pants or jeans.  What more can you ask from a pair of shoes??  These shoes make me smile when I wear them and they are so comfortable. Keens are also my husband's shoe of choice--he has 3 pair of them himself.

Oh my goodness, I almost forgot to mention my Chuck's--2 pair, red and black--what more can I possibly say about a classic pair of sneakers.  You see what I have learned is that if you need a mood change or an attitude adjustment just change your shoes.

To begin with

I don't claim to have more knowledge than anyone else but I have learned some things that may be helpful to others

One of the most important things I have learned is that life is not as hard as some think it is.  We all are given 24 hours everyday to do with whatever we want to.  We can choose to be happy or not. We can choose to work hard or hardly work. We can choose to help others or just look out for ourself.  These are all choices that are individual to each of us.  Everyday we choose how we will spend the 24 hours we have.  I choose to be thankful that I have one more day to breathe. Life, for the most part, is average and mundane, I need to be thankful for that because one day I will need the strength to deal with a crisis.

Everyday does not have to be special or spectacular, listen to the sound the wind makes as it blows through the trees, follow the shadows the suns creates as it moves across your yard. These are little things that make me realize that there is something much bigger than me in control of all of this.  It is a liberating feeling knowing that I am not the center of the universe.  It will go on with or without me but I can make it a nicer place for me simply by enjoying it everyday.