So I did pass on a few good things to my boys!!

I am a mother of two grown boys, one is 25 and the other is 23.  I love being a mom of boys and they have taught me so much over the years.  The first thing is their capacity for love in their own special way.  The second thing I learned from boys is the appreciation for dirt—but that is a whole other blog!!

My oldest son was not a cuddly baby, much to my chagrin; he would let me hold him long enough to nurse and then he was outta there.  However, he loved me by needing to play around me and watching everything I did, and I do mean everything.  He is not a big hugger but he indulges me when I need a hug from him—you see he is big, 6’5” tall and he envelops you with giant hugs (when he has to).  His wife is tiny and I absolutely love to see him give her one of his great big hugs, she almost disappears in his arms.  Like me you always know what he is feeling, he lets it out and then it is over. 

When he was little, he would hang out in the kitchen with me and just watch, I was too much of a freak in my kitchen as far as messes go so I rarely let him help.  I wish I could go back and change that part of me. I would love to go back and let him help me more and watch his creativity in action. He loves to cook and bake now, he makes homemade piecrust, scratch cinnamon rolls, and bread and pizza crust to die for.  He learns the proper techniques and has the patience to do things right. He is a better cook than I and I am proud to say that.  I am constantly buying cookbooks for him.  His wife appreciates it too! He uses cooking as an outlet from the everyday life of working and providing for his family.

My younger son was my cuddle bug and boy did I take advantage of that. I made up for the older one by snuggling with the younger one all the time.  Even when he was in high school, he would sit in our double chair with me and watch TV. He never fails to come give me a hug and kiss when he leaves the house, I love this.  He lives in Nashville now so those hugs and kisses are fewer and farther between but I soak them up when he is home.  Like his father he is a thinker and planner.  When he was little he could play contently by himself but hardly ever had to, he had an older brother and his friends.  He learned to read when he was 4 years-old.  He learned by sitting and listening to his big brother do his practice reading for school.  I remember having to find alternative punishments other than going to his room, he preferred this because he could sit in there for hours and read. I had to make him go outside and play!  He always loved to take things apart to see how they worked. At times, this was frustrating because he didn’t always put them back together.  He too loves to cook, but I think he appreciates the eating part more than the fixing part.  When he was in college a group of kids got together on Tuesday evenings and made a pie, for him it was more the socializing and having fun with friends than it was the art of making the pie. 

He is an excellent student and at times an over-achiever but it has served him well. He is a college graduate and is currently seeking out grad school options.  His feelings run very deep and he is very honest about everything.  He hurts deeply at times and struggles to get over these hurts.  He currently is working for a non-profit and is roasting coffee for this same agency. He does his job well, I dare say better than most, but he knows it is not what he is supposed to do forever.  That’s where grad school comes in, he wants to do psychological research and that is a perfect fit for him.  He loves to see how things work—even people.

When you are a young mom you never think of the impact you are having on your children, you are too busy making sure they survive the day.  Nevertheless, as they get older you start to see some of you in who they are becoming, good and bad.  There are things I would change if I had to go back and do it all again, but then would they turn out the same if I did it differently?? I may have spoiled them a bit too much at times, but I don’t think anyone was permanently damaged by it.  There were some tough times, times I didn’t think we would survive, but we came out on the other side and were strengthened by the trial.  I don’t wish hard times on any parent but they will happen and you have to choose how you are going to react. But hang in there because one day your little boy will be all grown up and have a little boy of his own.