Believe it or not I am embarking on the most exciting time of life. I am about to turn 50, and I could not be more thrilled about the prospect of that.
I am in better health than I was when I was 25 and I enjoy staying healthy much more than I did then. I love taking my morning walks and I love being outdoors with my husband and our puppy, which happens to be a 5 year old, Labradoodle. I take care of my 1-year-old grandson every day, and this gives me more enjoyment and exercise than I ever imagined. I am doing some counseling at a local pregnancy resource center and in May will graduate with my Masters Degree in counseling. Chris and I have been married for almost 28 years and I love him more than I did the day I married him.
So what is all this about then?
What I have learned over the years is to take of myself. Like many young moms, I was 24 when our first son was born and 26 with the second; I quickly fell into the “mommy mode.” I barely had time to shower before the kids were awake and demanding all my attention let alone fuss about what I was wearing or putting make-up on. Many days I would put on my “uniform” which was sweat pants, a t-shirt and an old flannel shirt a hand-me-down from my brother-in-law. This was a comfortable outfit and it fit; and after having gained well over 50 pounds with both pregnancies, it was rare to find comfort and fit in one outfit. I always swore I would never leave the house looking so frumpy, yeah; I left the house many times in that outfit. I was blessed to stay home with my kids when they were little—up to the time the oldest was 18—and I loved staying home with them, we played and watched TV, I cooked and cleaned. I really did not care what I looked like or how I presented myself to the outside world, I was a busy mom and that was all that mattered.
As the kids started school, I started to care a bit more but not much. I still relied upon jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts as my clothing of choice. I rarely wore make-up, I always have had really good skin, thanks to great genes, so I never depended upon make-up to hide little imperfections. I spent the summers in the sun and I love being tanned, yes, I know it is not good for me and I have damaged my skin so I need no lectures on this subject. Occasionally, I would dress up for a special event or date and I would put make-up on and I really like the way I looked and felt with all the fru-fru-ness of it. However, it just seemed like a lot of work to do it all the time.
So here I am almost 50 years old and looking back I would change a few things. I would care more about my outward appearance on a daily basis. Not the superficial outwardness but the way I felt when I did take a few minutes making myself look as if I cared about myself. As I said above, I loved the way I felt when I was put-together for a special occasion. So, now I get ready every morning, I shower and put on a bit of make-up, normally just foundation, powder and eyeliner or mascara. I does not seem like much but it makes me feel like I am prepared to greet the day and anyone who happens to come to my door, even it if is just my 1-year-old grandson. I still wear jeans and t-shirts, but if I am going out, I try to put on a nice sweater or a jacket. If I am going to my counseling position, I always dress professionally. When I go to class, I pair the comfort and the professional together.
When I see young moms at the store I can empathize with them, I know it is hard to get the kids ready and to have to tote them and all their stuff around. But take five minutes to comb your hair and put a bit of lip gloss on before you leave the house, try not go into public in sweatpants—or at least buy some that are fashionable (if there is such a thing)—an never have a word plastered across your behind!! That is not flattering at ANY age. At my most casual, I wear workout pants and a t-shirt or sweatshirt and this is not an everyday occurrence, I try to limit it but sometimes nothing feels better than stretchy britches.
The thing I regret the most about my younger self, is that I did not think about how I was not preparing myself to greet my husband every night when he came home from work. I generally was worn out and just was glad he was there to pick up a bit of the slack with the kids, I didn’t think about the fact that he may have wanted to see a more put-together wife after a long day. Chris never said a thing and thought I was beautiful no matter what, but I wish I would have given more thought to the importance of my relationship to him and that it was important enough to take a few minutes to make myself a bit more attractive to my husband.
Some days are better than others and some days I want to curl up in my pajama pants, which I allow myself to do, but I cannot leave the house on those days. And yes, I still wear my Chuck Taylor’s, with a denim skirt or a nice pair of jeans you can pull this off! All I am saying is that your outward appearance is a reflection of your inward feeling—one can dictate the other and often times does. Make the effort and you will feel it, I promise!!
