Teach Your Children

You who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so become yourself

Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,

Their father's hell did slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,

Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,

And so please help them with your youth,

They seek the truth before they can die.

Can you hear and do you care and

Can’t you see we must be free to

Teach your children what you believe in.

Make a world that we can live in.

Teach your parents well,

Their children's hell will slowly go by,

And feed them on your dreams

The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

So I have been wrestling with this blog post for a few weeks now. I had several ideas as to what I wanted to write about and just could not put my thoughts together. The other day I was driving to the store and this song came on the radio. Now I am a child of the 60s and 70s and I love the music of that time, I honestly do not listen to anything else. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young are one of my favorites for so many reasons, mainly I love their harmony when they sing. I feel that some of their songs speak to me directly and some not so much. But I know that I can sing along with almost all of their songs and I love to sing in the car. 

So why did this song hit me at this time?? I have mentioned before that I am the mother of two grown sons. I am very proud of both of my sons and I think Chris and I did a pretty good job getting them through the rough spots. Sam is married and has two boys of his own and is doing a really good job of being a daddy. Luke is currently living back with us after being on his own for the past six years. He is trying to figure out what the next chapter in his life will be and how to make it happen.

As parents of little ones we are constantly trying to make sure our children survive each and every day. Making sure they eat right and are safe. Making sure we provide them with enough experiences that they learn right from wrong, good from bad and happy from sad. Hoping they will have failures along the way so that they understand and appreciate success.  Most of the time we just go through each day and kids are learning by living, experiencing different things and reacting to those things. We try to manufacture learning moments and that usually does not work the way we want it to. Kids learn how to play by playing, they may not play the way we want them to but they are playing the way they want to play in order to learn how a particular toy functions.  

As our kids are growing, they learn by watching, and watch they do so you had better be aware of what you are showing them. They are listening to every word you say, you may not notice them listening, and sometimes you think your children are completely deaf because they do not respond to you when you are speaking. Nevertheless, they are listening waiting for you to say something they can use against you in the future.  But mostly they are listening to learn how to communicate with others. Your kids are listening to others around them to spot inconsistencies and differences in the way people talk with each other. It’s amazing to me how many things a child will pick up in the course of a day, some good and a whole lot of bad. May the bad not come from their parents and may their parents correct the bad when it comes out.

The one line in the aforementioned song that draws me in every time—“feed them on your dreams…” Tell your children what your dreams were as a child, teen, a young adult and who you are now. Tell them what dreams you let go and those you are still holding on to. Let them be free to dream their own dreams, let them learn from yours and use them to feed theirs. If we are true to our dreams our children will see that and learn to be true to theirs. We cannot give our children dreams, those come from within each and every single person. We cannot live their dreams any more than they can live ours. We must let our child go and do what they want to go and do. We must love them as they are, pray for them daily and help them dream big. We must be there when their dreams do not pan out they way they wanted so that we can offer comfort.

If we teach our children well they will grow up with the knowledge that we loved them and only wanted the best for them. When they are grown and gone hopefully, some of what we gave them will help them through the tough times. Children love your parents.